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Falling into a deep dark hole

Can someone who has faith in God fall into a deep dark hole?


Absolutely! We are all human and the only difference between someone who is a child of God

and someone who is lost is the blood that has been applied. It’s just as easy for someone who

loves the Lord to fall into depression, what brings them out of it is their faith and God’s grace.

Now let me tell you a story about a girl who never thought she would go through something so

deep and so draining because she had always been told if you have God on your side, you will

never experience depression because those who live for God live a happy life; if that statement

isn’t far from the truth, I don’t know what is! This girl gave her heart to the Lord in 2009 and

she loves the Lord and gives him thanks every day, now don’t get me wrong she could be a little

more (ok a lot more) obedient to studying her bible but she did talk to the Lord daily even if it

was just to say thank you, or oh God, I need you. She didn’t grow up in church, but once she

was able to hear His word, she knew she needed more and went to church every chance she

could get, that’s when she was the happiest and she realized that at a young age.

Okay so I just told you she gave her heart to the Lord in 2009, and sure she has hit some

roadblocks in her life, but it wasn’t until 2022 she hit the big roadblock, she didn’t think was

possible. Well, two years before the roadblock hit Covid took her and her family out of church,

so the path was being paved slowly and didn’t look like anything bad was coming down it. Then

she hit a brick wall; what was that you ask, well I’m glad you asked….it was knee surgery! You

see this girl is a very independent person, loves working out, loves being outside, loves being

around family, loves being on the go with her kids and husband, and loves working in the NICU

taking care of the sick little babies, it’s what made her happy! Well, you probably already

guessed it, but knee surgery took everything she loved from her, even her job! She was left

relying on people to care for her, she was left laid up in bed day in and day out, she couldn’t

even move her leg on her own for 9 whole weeks so that meant no getting out of bed hardly

because it was too much work, her life slowed down tremendously. At first, sure things didn’t

seem so bad because she had her mom there with her for the first 3 weeks until her husband

got off work, so she had company all the time and someone to keep her mind occupied. After 3

weeks though she was left lying in her bed looking at the same four walls day in and day out

and could hardly get up to use the bathroom on her own much less fix her own food or drink

because she was on crutches for the whole 9 weeks. Here she was left reflecting on life, getting

into her thoughts, she was her own worst enemy at this point. As the days pasted the thoughts

got worse and worse, she didn’t want to get out of bed EVER and all she wanted to do was

sleep, she didn’t care to be a mother or a wife, she even got to the point of wanting her life to

be over because of the pain she was experiencing and the things she felt had been stripped

from her all due to the knee surgery. At this point in her life, she wouldn’t eat (didn’t care to),

she never smiled (didn’t feel like she had anything to smile for anymore), she wouldn’t even

pray anymore, she even got to a point she didn’t want to hear God’s name or anything about

going to church because she blamed God for all this, just like most Christians do, right! Nobody


could talk to her without getting yelled at or an ill-mannered response because she was so

angry, and she didn’t care she was pushing people away, she didn’t care about anything. Why

should she care, she felt like her life was done, all the things she loved were taken from her

anyways not once but twice (that’s right she had knee surgery twice on the same knee).

I told you she had a foundation in Christ, and she knew this wasn’t the way God would want her

to act or think, she knows that the bible tells her to cast all her anxiety and depression on him

and he would carry it for her because he cares for her (1 Peter 5:7) but she still didn’t care to

pray and try God. There was only one bible verse that kept popping in her head during all this

time that she unknowingly held on to and that verse was 1 John 4:4, “Ye are of God, little

children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the

world.”

What brought her out of this deep dark hole? God! Her husband knew all he had to do was get

her in church again because he had been praying for her the whole time and crying out to the

Lord on her behalf and God revealed to him just bring her to me and let me handle the rest. It

wasn’t until after her second knee surgery, but he got her back in church the very next day

which happened to be on a Wednesday (which she thought was just going to be a calm, cool,

collective regular Wednesday night service) but to her surprise the church was having youth

revival and God was moving. She not only went that Wednesday night, but she kept wanting to

go back to see just what exactly is going on at church, they went to church four nights before

she finally knew she couldn’t leave again without surrendering herself to the Lord because God

was all over her and calling her back to him. You see the Lord tells us in his word that he will not

forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8) and this is a promise from our God, he never left her, he was

standing right where she left him when she turned her back on him and it was up to her to go

back to where she left him, if you could envision a picture I’d say God was standing there with

his arms wide open ready to wrap her in them and told her don’t worry no more my child, I’ve

got this just let go and let me handle it! That was the day she felt relief and let the burden go,

this is when she could see there was light back in her life, she was coming out of that deep dark

hole, but she wasn’t alone now!

Now to answer the question I know you’ve all been asking, who is she, who are they talking

about…. she is ME! If you struggle with depression know God is with you through your pain, and

he wants to rescue you from your crushed spirit (Psalm 31:18).


-Tiffani

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